This is probably the first time I’ve been properly concerned about Turner. He’s absolutely off his face,slurring lines and has been consistently off time throughout this set. Hopefully it’s just all still part of the act, but I reckon a bit of time off wouldn’t be a bad thing at all. Slippery slope and all that
It was really cathartic to get a load of my negative feelings out on here the other day, but almost instantly things picked up.
I met up with a friend of a friend and we went to a monkey temple and watched a fire dance which was so cool. Just being able to converse with someone totally changed my mood. We’ve since done an elephant trek too!
I also changed rooms at my hostel to a twin room where I shared with this really cool Scottish girl who’s been travelling solo for a year. As well as being a lovely person she has been a bank of knowledge and really put my mind at ease. Last night we went out for noodles and a beer with a girl we met and it was the best night since I’ve been here.
My anxiety levels are dropping, I’ve thought less about home and I’ve booked myself into a shared dorm in my next destination recommend by the girl I shared with.
I can put this on here because my folks won’t see it like on FB and I don’t want to worry them.
I flew 18 hours across the world on Tuesday to start backpacking around Asia and I’m currently in Bali. Before i left I was majorly nervous about doing it all on my own, but was constantly reassured that once I got out here I’d ‘meet brilliant people’ and ‘have the time of my life’.
Currently though I’m staying in a place that isn’t too social, but I’m scared of booking into a dorm hostel where I would meet people. My anxiety is getting really bad, to the point where I barely slept last night and had to talk myself down from a panic attack. My brain is constantly in overdrive, as usual focusing on all the negatives.
I haven’t even been out to explore as much as I’d like and I’m not eating properly.
If this was going to be for 2 weeks or something I’d be absolutely cool, but I’ve told everyone at home that I’m doing 4 months in asia and then onto Australia for an indeterminate amount of time. The thought of going back early and facing everyone I’d spoken to about my trip and how amazing it was going to be isn’t a great feeling.
I’m really missing social contact. I’m grateful for whatsapp and facebook so I can keep in contact with home, but boy do I miss it. I made some brilliant friends in the last 2 years and I really miss them. Miss my family too, they’re crazy but I am missing them so bad.
I’m wishing I hadn’t tried to be the brave guy that does this solo. I might enjoy time to myself and I’m not someone that has to be around people 24/7 but I just wish I had a friendly face with me. I’m shy, awful at starting conversation and just wish I could snap my fingers and have a buddy to experience this all with.
I need to start thinking more positively, but for now I’m a little sleep deprived, anxious, homesick and scared. I’ve only been here 3 days and when I’ve left home like this before (uni) it took me a while to adjust, but I did eventually. But for now I just wish I was back home.
Also, I’ve already started to use tumblr less & less which is a shame and that is almost certainly going to get worse when I’m backpacking.
I’m not going to delete my blog at all, far from it - but I’ve met some pretty damn cool people on here that I don’t want to lose touch with, so if we’ve ever talked or reblogged the hell out of each other send me an ask and it would be good to hook-up on facebook
It’s really difficult to get my head round the fact that in 7 days time I’ll be leaving everything I’ve ever known behind to fly half way across the globe where I’m going to live out of a backpack for an undetermined amount of time, at least 6 months.
I am so nervous, yet excited too. I lived pretty independently when I was at uni, but travelling solo is going to be completely different. I can’t just pop home if (when) I get low and I’m going to have to quickly make friendships that may just be fleeting (something I am really really not good at).
I know from experience that I just have to forget all the things that are making me anxious, I’ve always dreamt of this adventure and now it’s happening and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be one of the best experiences of my life. For some reason my brain is wired to make me worry about everything, but once I get out there I know I’ll enjoy it a crazy amount.
Bali, Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Hong Kong, Australia and New Zealand - you’d better be ready and waiting for me!
Saying goodbye to some of my closest friends for I don’t know how long really wasn’t easy tonight. Luckily they got me pretty drunk which made it easier
I am going to die, this is one of the best moments of my life
Who wants to come over, curl up under a blanket and watch the thunder and lightning storm with arctic monkeys blaring